Joe, a loyal disciple

Every year in the Empire we decide to have a little competition. It’s called “The Human Race.” The rules are simple, the first person to kill 100 people wins.

Now I know what you’re thinking, 100 people the quickest? That sounds absolutely absurd, but to be honest it really isn’t, because you’re only allowed to kill people that are witnessed doing something stupid, or more simply “Public Cleansing.” Examples of this include: People who haven’t checked their credit with freecreditreport.com, people who haven’t switched their car insurance to Geico, anyone that is in the 10th grade, and anyone that thinks Dane Cook is still funny.

Fred is the 8 time reigning Champion in The Human Race, mostly because last year I attempted to sink a cruise ship full of GM and Chrysler executives, but Fred beat me by launching a missile into the funeral for Gary Gygax. Over 130 Virgins were removed from existence after failing to roll for a dexterity saving throw.

I’m on day 2.5 of my 4 day break, and It’s fucking awesome.

Work has been murder of recent and I’ve just needed some Joe time, not doing shit, not going anywhere, just locked up at home doing nothing is all I’ve needed, and it’s what I’m doing.

Listening to music at home is fucking awesome, I forgot how good music sounds coming from real speakers.

Gaming is back in, (sorta), All I’ve been doing is keeping myself busy with random games here and there.

Dinner is take-out, or steak and 40’s if anyone decides to show up.

One last thing, Have a great day.

Today I took Emily down to Chatham again to see her grandmother. She’s not doing well at all and we couldn’t stay for that long because her grandmother’s incredibly sick and it’s all to much for Emily to take it. They’re tight, like two peas in a pod.

Other than that Fred Matt and I nerded it up last night and played some magic. Fred’s getting a new apartment in Quincy, and Fred’s too efficient to poop.

Work was fun, Matt screwed up the schedule and gave us an extra hour to work for free. He wanted us to work on the Spirit from 5:30-11pm, but we ended up working 5:30-12pm because the boat was cruising from 8-11pm, and not from 7-10pm. We managed to do all the shooting during boarding/dockside, which made it about 300 times easier for us then shooting on board. The dockside shooting gave us plenty more time to package and sell the photos, because it took us nearly an hour to print and package all the photos, about 170 of them. 2 hours of selling on deck went well, but it was still kinda shitty considering the volume of people we knew we had on the boat.

Selling dockside was the normal amount of crazy and insane, yelling, kicking, screaming, doing whatever we had to do to get people to buy photos. Chad twice ran down a bunch of crazies trying to run off with the photos, that was funny to watch. In the end I left before knowing the final sales numbers, but I know we did pretty kick ass.

On our walk back to the office I peeled off to head over to South Station to catch the train home. It was 12pm already so I didn’t want to gamble missing the train. As I’m crossing the bridge Jory yells back at me, “Hey Joe! Thanks for the drink!” and he waves my drink, I yell back the first thought I would normally have in my stolen drink situation, “Is it my Dew!?” “No, It’s your Tiger, (Gatorade)” “Oh, okay, do you want the other one?” “Yes! Throw it in the snow bank!” I give the bottle the ole heave ho, about 50 feet out and 20 feet down it needs to go, Jory freaks out and starts running to catch it because it flies just too far by about a foot. Bottle hits the ground and the cap shatters, splattering Jory in yellow piss Tiger Gatorade. I couldn’t stop laughing, it was too funny. He drank it, we went on our ways.

On the Train I meet a group of girls from Curry college, they just got back from Dick’s Last resort, wearing their hats featuring the likes of “I swallow,” “Will flash for cash,” and another one that I can’t remember what it had written on it.

They were cool and funny, I gave them my name and website, (here), and kinda half expected that to be that, because I’m really bad at meeting new people, but nope, they added me on Facebook and I consider that really funny. Now just trying to actually hang out with them and go to a party or something.

Once getting to the T, Heather picked me up, drove over and grabbed Matt and his brother Mike to come over for a bit and play some MTG. Good fun, tromped all over Mike in the first match, then lost to Matt the second game. Overall, good fun.

Sleep was too long, from like 3am to 2pm, but very good. Tomorrow a real post or something and not a journal entry piece of crap.

Daemon Tools doesn’t agree with Vista. My computer, for over an hour, booted, blue screened, restart, repeat. It was a fucking cunt to deal with. Tom had to hack my system and backdoor everything in the kitchen sink and eventually deleted the damn daemon tools, but seriously it was an unneeded pain in the ass.

Learned to play Axis and Allies, that’s gonna be some fun soon enough. Tom and Taylor played some game that I was supposed to join in on before Daemon Tools raped me in the ass, but it was all good.

Tomorrow is Carolyn’s party and I need to buy my books.

Saturday after work, Heather, Matt, Myself and Kristina all jumped in Heather’s car to head down to N.Attleboro to go shopping at the Emerald Square Mall. There really wasn’t much worth shopping there, nothing I saw stood out, but I picked up the couple things I needed to get. Kristina on the other hand, saw a Fredrick’s of Hollywood and freaked the hell out, grabbed me by the arm, and ran me to the store. She had never seen an actual Fredrick’s store before, so she was quite pleased to go shopping there, and bought the hottest red pajamas.

After the mall it was time for dinner, and looking for a non-full restaurant at 6:30-7pm is equal to fail, so instead of waiting there, we went to Bugaboo Creek in Braintree where Kristina checked out and was picked up by her boyfriend Juozas. Overall the food I have to say was shit. My food wasn’t cooked right, the cheese wasn’t melted, and our waitress didn’t really check up on us and give us their standard issue automatic re-fills. It’s the first time out of the at least 10 times I’ve gone there and had a bad experience.

As soon as we walked in the door though, It was time to Nerd it up some. Fred came over and I destroyed him in the first match. Second match Matt and Fred battled and I can’t remember who won that one and then matched 3-6 were 3 player matches, all of which I lost. Either way I’m pleased with how my decks worked and were put together, considering I put them together in all of 4 minutes.

Yesterday I chilled out with the Emperor, or as I will continue to call him, Fred. We discussed plans on re-taking over Russia and it’s outlying countries to reform the USSR to pick up where our lord Stalin left off, but then we realized Obama is going to become president, and he’d fuck our shit up if we tried anything. We decide instead that our move will be to take over a less important area that wont get our asses kicked by the anti-terrorist government of the USA, so we’re going after Delaware. No one gives a fuck about Delaware, so we’re going to take it over… eventually.

I picked up my magic cards from Fred as well and paid the man his money, bought subs, played Halo, went home and drank some Dew.

Today I bought some Dunny’s, a CD by a band called, “Screaming Weasel” titled BOOGADABOOGADABOOGADA… it’s alright skater punk stuff, nothing new or amazing though.

Now I’m blogging and probably going to sort the 1000 magic cards and kill myself or something.

It’s been a legit 2 weeks since I’ve written here, mostly because I save my blog posting for when I’m bored on my laptop, but since Circuit City is still fixing it, the lame comp will have to do.

The Trip To Kansas:
Myself and Kristina are off to Kansas being driven by my mom and dad to the airport in Providence, RI to catch our plane to Nashville, then to Kansas City. We’re being driven to the airport at about… 4:30-5am for a 7:50 flight… In other words, what the fuck!!! We get to the airport at just barely after 6am, eat some Dunkin Donuts for breakfast and sit bored in the airport for the next 2 hours waiting for our flight. Kristina ends up busting out the Mad Libs, I play 20 questions with her, and she’s still pretty pissed you have to pay for internet in the airport. Either way, time flew by, we jumped on our early morning flight… with all 15-20 people on board and head to Nashville.

The Plane landed a little bit fast in Nashville, but that wasn’t a problem. I chose Southwest to book our flights and I can say, they do a damn good job, there’s plenty of leg room, and the stewardesses are really nice . Nashville was a quick 1 hour layover, we walked around the airport, Kristina picked up shot glasses, I picked up post cards, then it was only about a 20 minute wait for us before we had to get in line to board the plane. Both the flights out, Kristina and I managed to be seated next to each other, because Southwest is pretty cool and lets you sit wherever and not have to worry about assigned seating.

We land in Kansas City about an Hour and a half later, where we have to walk all the way to the other end of the terminal to get our bags, walk all the way back to find Marie to bring us home, (Marie is sooo adorable ), and then once again, have to walk all the way back to the other side to get in her car. The ride to Topeka we ended up lost for a moment, Marie and I were too into conversation that we had no idea where the hell we were and where the exit we were supposed to take went. She pulled a U-turn and we headed back the right way.

Kansas.
Wayyy too much happened. Here’s a small list:
Christmas shopping
Dinner out
Food shopping
Being attacked by Dog
AJ’s sausage contaminating Atarah’s box
Drinking
Strip Club
Kristina puking uncontrollably
The Oz Museum
Cranium
Mountain Dew fetishes
Setting up the Christmas tree
Putting up Christmas lights
Buying new shoes
Taking pictures
Buying Kansas memorabilia
Watching Atarah cut her finger wide open
Driving fast to the Walgreens for medical supplies
Laughing at Atarah and making knife and finger jokes
Degrassi

The flight from Kansas to Chicago was treacherous. We almost died on the landing. Ate pizza in chicago, bought our memorabilia, then headed for home to Providence. Mom showed up late to the Providence airport, Kristina looked hott in her skirt and god damn it I am happy to be home!!!

Funnest fucking game ever.
Debt was never more fun.
Getting rich was never so easy.
Popping out babies like its the baby boom.
Yeah, get some <3

I worked from 11-7 yesterday at BHC, lemme tell you, It killed my legs. Not only did I forget to put sunblock on my legs, My legs are currently cramped to hell, and I have a 5-11 shift tonight at Odyssey. I wont be able to walk or move much at all, but it should still be fun and/or easy.

After that Kathy and I chilled out, finally played some PayDay, headed over to Stop and Shop to pick up instant noodles and get a Redbox movie. The movie we saw was 101 something something, which was basically a movie about how a guy learns about all 101 women he’s going to sleep with, but the problem is, he’s at number 29.. and she’s his soon to be wife.

The movie was funny, TONS of tits, and it was good.

Work tonight 5-11, call me bitches!