Joe, a loyal disciple

So I consider myself a self accomplished failure. How true is this? Not that true, I am just extremely unlucky in certain situations, which then become very awkward and thus: Failure.

What kind of situation turns awkward and then ends up as a giant fail? Well, here’s one for you:

Some names have been obviously changed

After I graduated from High School, (2005), I was doing nothing with my life except for chilling with friends here, there and everywhere and attempting to become an Internet Superhero, (god I miss Catch27.com). I met my old High School friend Lashawna at the train station and we started to talk about life in general and how we’ve been. I hadn’t seen her in at least 2 years. I find out she’s still with her boyfriend Roderick and she lives across the street from the Pizza Hut in Quincy Point. I ask if she wants to do dinner sometime and we plan a night out a few days later.

She brings her sister Brandi, who I’ve met before, she’s about as thick as a twig. Anyway, we go to Pizza Hut and order a Buffalo Chicken and Pineapple pizza and split it between us. We head to the mall after dinner and it’s at the mall we walk into Dapy, aka Spencer’s, where Brandi sees a statue of Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas and goes on about her obsession for him. Soon enough I find out I like Brandi more than I like Lashawna.

We leave the mall, the girls head home, I follow suit and when I get home I find and add them on MySpace. I find Brandi’s AIM screen name and start to chat with her for a while. A few days and weeks of this pass before I ask her if she wants to go out to the mall with me, (for a date, but I never used the term “date” ). She agrees and says she’ll meet me at the T at 3pm.

I get to the T a little early, I don’t like being late for things like this, so I get there around 2:40pm. She’s not there yet so I wait by my bus to see when she’s coming. 3:05pm rolls around and I see her bus pull up. She’s not on it, okay, it’s cool, maybe she missed it and is coming on the next one. I wait a little while, 3:15pm, next bus rolls in, again she’s not on it. 3:25pm nope not there. I’m a patient guy, maybe she needed more time to get ready.

At this point I really wished I had a cell phone to call her with to see what was up, but I’m 17 and broke, so that’s definitely not in the fold. I wait and wait, I’m a patient guy, but one by one buses roll in and roll out, she’s no where to be seen. 4pm comes and goes, 5pm too, and at 6pm I finally decide to go home.

I see she’s online and I ask her why she never came, she tells me that she accidentally fell asleep and felt bad she couldn’t make it. That’s when I tell her I waited for over 3 hours for her and she felt terrible about it.

I should note somewhere that Brandi and Lashawna are kinda crazy, not all their marbles are up there, but I never really saw that as a cause of concern, they were always normal when I was around them. Well, the next day when I message her something very high school me, “Hey hun, When’s the next time we’re hangin?” She responds with, “GOD WHY WONT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE,” then blocks me.

I haven’t talked to her since. I waited three hours at a train station. Never again.

-Joe

I’ve always thought I knew what love felt like, but now I can honestly say I know how it feels to be in love, and it feels good.

It feels good.

This is the final piece of a 4 part series on dreaming. The first two parts are of dreams I’ve recently had, parts 3 and 4 are reflections and examinations.

What do I think makes me dream? I think it’s my mind trying to communicate with me, whether it be my unconscious self, my memory, or my thoughts. In essence, anything my mind wishes it could communicate to me, but can’t, it does so in dreams.

Before I continue I want to make something clear: I hate to dream. I am actually scared of what my mind needs to tell me. To know that some of my dreams are as fucked up as they are, many hundreds of which I don’t even have written down here, and that my mind is the one creating them, it seriously scares me.

Why are most of my dreams about anxiety?
Dreams about anxiety are very strange for me. The reason they’re so strange is that when I wake up after having a dream related to anxiety, I become severely severely depressed. I hate myself every morning I wake up from an anxiety dream. This is because I wasn’t in control of myself or the situation, but I wish that I had done something different to make the outcome more favorable. Drowning, punching my sister, destroying a man’s house, or even being trapped in a dark void/basement thing, all those I wish i did something different to fix it.

However, soon after giving myself more time to wake up and reflect on the dream, I realize that my dream was giving me a warning. It was telling me I need to stand up and take action in situations and stop letting the situation control me. Too many times in my life I could have done things differently if I only had the balls enough to do it. Whether it be something small like deciding whether or not I want junk food or as major as what am I going to do for the rest of my life. My anxiety is related to my indecisiveness and my dreams is my mind communicating to me that I need to take action.

Why do I dream about being alone?
I have separation issues. In all honesty, I like the status quo and I do not like to change. I do not want to move out of my house, I don’t want my own apartment, I don’t want to find a new job, I will not pass go, I will not collect 200 dollars.

My dream on being alone, trapped in the dark. It was my mind telling me to be okay with myself, to take comfort in being alone. That dream felt like it lasted forever, I was hanging on for my own life and even had to deal with those fucking spiders. Those are in line with my mind telling me to become comfortable with myself. My mind wants me to learn to settle on my own and not rely on others so much. My mind wants me to overcome my fears and not have such a large separation issue.

What do recurring dreams mean?
Running the catwalks in the Post Office, every time I have that dream the scenery changes a bit, however the dream always remains the same. It’s me in the Post Office, starting at point A and trying to move my way to point B. I can do anything, I can climb, run, jump, probably fly if I needed, I’m invincible.

This dream is my mind giving me confidence. I can make the trip from point A to B as long as I set a steady pace to get there and try not to go overboard with it. My work at Photogenic or even Macy’s is a perfect example of this. When I first started to work at each place, it was a rocky start and I wasn’t sure how things would work out, but I stuck the course and at Macy’s I quickly became a Sales Specialist and at Photogenic, I’m god, (or Supervisor, same thing).

What about those people in your dreams? The ones you never met?
That goes in my “unknown” category. I feel that in the course of nature there’s an answer for everything, but it’s impossible for one to comprehend every answer to everything. I don’t know why my mind makes images of people I’ve never seen, objects I don’t know, or places I haven’t seen.

The answer I theorize is this: I have seen them before. Whether it be a picture, a quick glimpse or even obscuring reality, I have to have seen them before. Is it possible for a mind to create an object it hasn’t seen before with no prior knowledge to understanding it’s existence? Can your mind picture a circle if it as only seen squares? Can your mind see colors if you cannot yourself? That I don’t have the answer for, but I believe we cannot imagine things we haven’t seen before and therefor, I have to have seen them before in order for my mind to have created them.

Dreams that you feel?
It’s entirely hard to describe this unless you’ve had the dreams before yourself. They’re like a gut decision where you feel it inside you rather than what your mind is telling you. In dreams that I can feel the people or objects around me, it’s similar to when you think someone is behind you, you have that feeling. Except in reality we can turn around to see if something’s there, we’re in control, but in dreams I can only take what is given. These dreams didn’t allow me to turn around to see anyone, rather the only reason I knew why people were around me was that I could feel they were there.

Is it mind tricks that causes this? Is there a message trying to be sent out here like “don’t look back,” or other things? I’m not sure yet. Over time I’ll learn from it and try to figure it out, but right now I’m not sure.

One day, when I’m old and have all the answers I am looking for, I’ll become a happy person. That day may also be the day I die, I can’t tell you for sure, but I can tell you to listen to what your mind is telling you. That bitch is holding back some serious info.

Thank You
-Joe

This is a 4 part series on dreaming. The first two parts are of dreams I’ve recently had, parts 3 and 4 are reflections and examinations.

What creates a dream? Where are they from? There’s no definitive answer to this question, but there are plenty of links and commonalities among dreams.

Several thousand test patients have performed in studies and within these studies it has been found that anxiety is the most common emotion shared amongst people that dream. Anxiety is a psychological state of fear, worry, and/or uneasiness. In my first and third dream, (Part 2, Dream 2), there was anxiety. The first one was littered with anxiety, whether it not being able to keep up with my sister and the guy, the fear of drowning alive in a sunken house or trying to run for my life and not being able to. In my third dream I was left alone in the dark surrounded in bugs, I don’t believe I need to go into detail about the amount of anxiety there.

Sharing the topic of anxiety is another common theme in dreaming: Being alone. The entirety of the third dream I was stranded and alone, but in my second dream, running the catwalks of the Post Office, there were people, sort of. In the second dream people were with me to start, there’s no way for me to describe it other than that I felt they were there, at the beginning I caught a minor glimpse of them, but never really had a good look at who they were. I knew they were good people and I was showing them the way to get from here to there, but I never acknowledged it, I just felt it. Soon after my journey began, however, those people that were right behind me had disappeared and weren’t even a second thought.

One final common theme: recurring dreams. Recurring dreams are like that of my second dream more than the third. I have dreams of being alone, but they’re always so different it’s hard to qualify them as recurring but rather “common in theme.” The second dream of mine, the running of the catwalks, is a recurring dream; every time I dream that dream it’s always the same plot with only minor changes in the surroundings.

Moving along, there’s plenty of theories into why we dream. There is no universally agreed biological definition of dreaming, but here are a few theories about why we dream.

Activation Synthesis Theory
J. Allan Hobson and Robert McCarley: Asserts that the sensory experiences are fabricated by the cortex as a means of interpreting chaotic signals from the pons. They propose that in REM sleep, the ascending cholinergic PGO (ponto-geniculo-occipital) waves stimulate higher midbrain and forebrain cortical structures, producing rapid eye movements. The activated fore brain then synthesizes the dream out of this internally generated information. They assume that the same structures that induce REM sleep also generate sensory information.

Continual-Activation Theory
Jie Zhang: Proposes that dreaming is a result of brain activation and synthesis; at the same time, dreaming and REM sleep are controlled by different brain mechanisms. He also Hypothesizes that the function of sleep is to process, encode and transfer the data from the temporary memory to the long-term memory.

Dreams as Expectations of Long-Term Memory
Eugen Tarnow suggests that dreams are ever-present excitations of long-term memory, even during waking life.

Dreams for Strengthening of Semantic Memories
A 2001 study showed evidence that illogical locations, characters, and dream flow may help the brain strengthen the linking and consolidation of semantic memories. One stage of memory consolidation is the linking of distant but related memories. Payne and Nadal hypothesize that these memories are then consolidated into a smooth narrative, similar to a process that happens when memories are created under stress.

Dreams for Removing Junk
Hughlings Jackson viewed that sleep serves to sweep away unnecessary memories and connections from the day. This was revised in 1983 by Crick and Mitchison’s ‘reverse learning’ theory, which states that dreams are like the cleaning-up operations of computers when they are off-line, removing parasitic nodes and other “junk” from the mind during sleep.

Dreams as Resonance in Neural Circuts
A well-known phenomenon in dynamical physical systems where the level of input and output from the system is low is that oscillation makes spontaneous resonance patterns to occur. Hence, dreams may be the simple consequence of neural oscillation.

There’s also plenty of theories into answering why we dream. Freud and Jung believed dreams are the unconscious and the conscious interacting together, with the unconscious being the dominant. Perls believed that dreams were the projections of ourself that have been ignored rejected or suppressed. The Native Americans believed dreams were part of a vision quest to obtain a right of passage in their culture, (although it could be hallucinogenic. Their dreams were caused after periods of fasting, however, hallucinosis is still technically dreaming, but in an alert stimuli rather than unconsciousness).

Tomorrow I’ll be taking these concepts and placing them along side the reasons I believe I dream and why they’re the dreams that they are.

To learn plenty more on this read the wiki page and bounce around the links: Wikipedia – Dream

This is a 4 part series on dreaming. The first two parts are of dreams I’ve recently had, parts 3 and 4 are reflections and examinations.

I’m standing in front of the Fort Point post office and I need to get to the other side. I’m with some people, the feeling is that they are friends or family, they’re good people, not anyone that intends or means to hurt me. We start running move quickly down the dark pathways, up long metal catwalks with their cobalt railings and yellow caution tape wrapped in a swirl around them. It’s such a long run, up one long catwalk and down another until I reach a small transfer area. It’s a cement area with the floor marked off with caution tape showing the closest the machines can get to the wall without striking them.

There’s a dark hallway to my left that I can’t head down and a wall to the right with a door leading to an office or closet. I ignore these and continue to run straight ahead where I can still see the path. I run up another catwalk, but this time this ramp heads off to the left, to a dark area where I can’t go. There’s a ramp heading straight ahead to where I want to go, but it’s hanging above me. I jump forward off the catwalk and grab the railings of the catwalk overhead and start to monkey-hang and shimmy my way down the ramp. With a quarter of the way left to go, I find a point where I can swing my legs up and not have to monkey my way down anymore. I throw my legs up onto the floor and stand myself up, but I stay on the outside of the railing for the rest of the way down rather than climb over and continue walking.

Once I reach the cement floor on the other side, there’s a darkness covering the hallway ahead of me and to the hallway to the left is also shrouded in darkness. An identical wall with a door to the office I saw before is on the right. With the darkness covering my path I can’t go forward anymore, I’ve reached my destination, this dream ends.

Dream 2.

I climb down a yellow ladder from a manhole like cylinder that leads to a huge dark empty void of an area. There is no floor, just a long dark fall. There’s some more yellow pipes to the right of the ladder close to the ceiling, and to the right of that is a small ledge only a foot in width and a foot from the ceiling. I swing over to climb up the yellow piping, but I can’t quite get my legs to reach up high enough to latch onto it. I look back and not only is the ladder shorter so that I can’t climb back on it, but I can’t see the hole above the ladder where I came from anymore, It’s just black. I’m stuck and there’s no way to get out of here.

I swing my body onto the ledge and there’s just barely enough space from me to squeeze onto the ledge and only half my body manages to fit on it. I have to prop myself up using the yellow piping to my left and holding onto a small bar coming out of the wall on my right. I think to myself that I’m stuck here forever, but I’m not ready to die, I cannot afford to fall down this void, but if I fall asleep while trying to keep myself propped up, I certainly will fall into the darkness.

I see spiders down by my feet, I hate spiders. I have to deal with these though, because if I freak out, I might fall to my death. I have my left arm laying across my body and I’m on the ledge well enough that I don’t have to prop myself up anymore, and then on my left arm I see this giant bug crawling across it. I try to swipe it away with my right hand, but it wont move. My arm is completely asleep and it wont move to swipe the bug away. My left arm is in the same state of not being able to move and soon I realize my whole body is limp and I can’t move. This bug is creeping me out and feels strange crawling on my arm, but I can’t swipe it away.

Eventually my right arm gains enough feeling that I can finally swipe this damn bug away. The instant after the bug is swiped off my body, I wake up.

This is a 4 part series on dreaming. The first two parts are of dreams I’ve recently had, parts 3 and 4 are reflections and examinations.

My sister and I are in the middle of the woods, more than likely in New Hampshire, and there’s a large brown house standing in front of us. It’s a family friend’s house, this is the feeling I have and the situation given, I do not know this guy and I’ve never seen him, but he’s a family friend. As he starts to show us around, my sister and him are going up the stairs, but I can’t keep up. I try as hard as I can to follow my way up the stairs, I do the jaguar crawl on the stairs, pull on the railings, everything I can, but I just can’t keep up with them.

Soon I reach the top of the stairs and there’s a bunch of men doing work around the area, there’s a light being worked on and open walls that look like the half finished skeleton of a house. I squeeze by them up the next set of stairs, however, I can’t fit through the hole between the stairs and the ceiling without getting stuck. I squeeze my way back out and down the stairs back to where the men are doing work. I look down the hallway and see a different set of stairs heading upstairs. I take that set of stairs up and when I reach the next floor I see my sister and the guy coming down from the next floor up about to head back down the stairs I couldn’t make it up. I yell over to them, they see me and make their way over to me.

They tell me they’ve been looking for me and we walk back across the hallway and up the stairs they just came down where we are on a balcony. On this balcony we can see the ground right next to us, we jump off onto the ground and look back to the house to see that this man’s house is a giant house that’s sunk into a pool just big enough for the house to fit in with about a foot of clearance all the way around. The pool is not a standard pool with the white lining, fancy bricks and all the accessories, but rather a giant dug out section of earth filled with water in the middle of the woods.

He tells us the entire house is water proof and no water can get in. I decide that because the roof is so close to the ground I’ll just jump on it and walk across to the other side to see what’s there. I run and jump onto the roof and I hear crinkling, like a soda can being crushed. I make it halfway over before I hear my sister yelling at me and I jump off immediately off to the side, and I hear the sound of water rushing in.

At this point I picture everything in the house being destroyed by this flood of water, as well as drowning and killing the guy’s wife ans kids trapped inside. I even imagine myself being stuck in the basement of this house and trying to figure an escape route out, but within this illusion inside of a dream, I realize I’m trapped and there’s no way to get out of the sinking house. I will drown and die.

Just after the illusion of me about to die from drowning, I see I’m back outside where I was and I realize that this guy’s house is a giant aluminum sunken trailer in a pool in the middle of the woods, and I just broke it and it’s flooding with water. Everyone is looking at me with a horrid, “DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” look on their face. I’m scared to death and before anyone starts to approach me I punch my own sister in the face and try to run. Everyone, all random people I’ve never met before, walk slowly towards me as I try to run. I’m running as hard as I can, but no matter how fast I try to run, I can’t run faster than these people can walk. Since I tried running from them their faces have changed from the look of horror, to a blank emotionless expression, but even with the change of expression, all I want to do is run from them. I’m extremely scared and I try throwing punches at these people to get them away from me. I turn around to run some more, clawing at the ground, doing anything in my power to run but I still can’t run faster than they can walk and I can’t escape from this horror. Immediately after this realization I can’t escape, I scare myself awake.

Dream. Part 2: Tomorrow.

I took a shot at quitting soda, specifically my Mountain Dew/Pepsi addiction. It’s not so much a soda addiction as it is a caffeine addiction and this is what I’ve come to terms with:

Rather than explain for an hour about caffeine, Just read: Wiki Page

After a week of being off soda it’s come to my attention it’s a waste of time. To quit doing something I love to do, with such a short lifespan, it doesn’t seem worth it. Drinking 3 liters of soda a day, well, that too isn’t worth it. Too much soda will become the death of me, too little and I get pissy. Drinking about 750grams of sugar a day catches up hardcore, (middle weight), and having no sugar makes me really really fucking sleepy.

Compromise Part 1:

I am not quitting soda, It tastes good, goes down smooth and is fucking refreshing. Am I cutting back? Yes, and a lot. A few glasses a day or a 20oz or 2 at most. Sure there’s other things out there to drink, healthier items blah blah blah. Yeah, but they’re not soda are they? Ever heard of “Eat this, Not that?” LINK HERE In one of his posts he mentions, “Don’t get french fries, get apple crisps instead!” If I’m in a restaurant ordering french fries, I want french fries. I do not want some alternative that isn’t french fries. So why would I want to avoid soda when I want soda?

A Problem Approaches!:

“Drink diet soda! It’s like real soda with no calories!” One: No, it’s disgusting, diet Dew tastes like poorly flavored water. Two: Fake sugar is worse than real sugar (See: Splenda Exposed). Cane Sugar > High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) > Splenda. Either way, The problem here is that Cane Sugar soda, as seen with Pepsi/Dew Throwback, tastes too sweet. Normal Pepsi/Dew has HFCS, which, if isn’t burnt off, will add the pounds. Diet Pepsi/Dew contains Splenda or Aspartame, both of which can cause chemical harm to the body.

Compromise Part 2:

Drink Soda in the morning. Most health experts will tell you, “never touch soda again you fat fuck.” However, most of them agree, if you’re going to drink soda, drink it 6-8 hours before you go to sleep. This gives your body time to burn it off and, well, “release” it. Soda really is only effective in the morning/early afternoon when I need that kick start my day.

Solution:

Drink less soda. Less caffeine will help with memory and keep me off edge, even though A non-psychotic Joe isn’t really Joe. Less sugar means less middle weight and less of a crash, (crash is from sugar, not caffeine, true story).

Sure my attempt to quit soda was a failure, but there’s a valid solution out there and since I decided to go back to soda today, I’ve only had a single glass, it’s not like I’m binge drinking.

Thanks for the time,
-Joe

Toyota has been thrown under the bus for the recent accelerator issue. Testers for Toyota have testified stating that in all the vehicles they’ve tested they have failed to recreate ANY issue reported by victims of the “Accelerator” problem. This is obviously a conspiracy, wait, can conspiracies be obvious? Either way here’s the common trends of recent:

Toyota has hid safety issues in the past and has had several recalls!
So has the Big 3. Click for: FORD CHEVY DODGE

19 people have died because of this!
Out of nearly 4.25 million vehicles.. that’s still only a 1:210526 chance, Also known as a “Freak Accident” …More people die everyDAY from drunk driving than 8 years of Toyota “problems.” see: Drunk Driving Statistics

Basically what I’m getting at here is that the government is stepping in to bitch out Toyota, fine them and potentially throw them in probation. Now to be fair, Ford Chevy and Dodge have been bitched at for safety over the years, but it’s never been this public, never been this big of a deal or problem in the past for any auto company, so why is this one so big?

Here’s why, it’s because it’s Toyota. Toyota, the foreign car company and top rated car company in satisfaction AND safety in America is taking over. Ford, Chevy and Dodge can’t compete with them and it was extremely obvious, Toyota never needed a bailout. The government is stepping in because the Big 3 still owe them money and the government wants it back. So along comes the perfect opportunity to throw Toyota under the bus, their first major recall since the auto bailouts. Ford recently had a switch issue that caused fires which forced them to recall 4.5million vehicles. Did you even hear about that, much less the 2 days it was a considered an “issue”? Didn’t think so.

The government wants it’s auto companies to succeed, they want ours to be the most perfect bestest ever oh mai gawd joo need to buy a Ford rye nau!!! No, Toyota’s that are shipped in overseas are taxed and the government makes bank on those tariffs, then again on the sales tax. As for the Toyota’s made in America, THEY’RE KEEPING US EMPLOYED.

So why the big fuss, why throw Toyota under the bus? They make the government money, they keep Americans employed, (the Big 3 obviously can’t, [insert taxpayer bailout here] ), and again, Toyota’s are the tops in customer satisfaction and safety. In other words, I can’t see a reasonable excuse to throw Toyota under the bus, beside the fact the US government wants to prove they have larger cocks than Toyota. They’re Japanese, we already win that by default.

The government needs to shut the fuck up about this and all Americans need to calm the fuck down. Toyota’s are still safe, all “accidents” were freak accidents and were more than likely user error, (Kids and their cellphones I tell you what!). One issue was about “sudden acceleration in a 2007 Lexus ES 350,” It has 272 horses under the hood, the guy probably is used to driving a Ford with half the power, it’s called accommodate your power and learn to drive dipshit.

Every goddamn American rides the fucking bandwagon on everything and for once we need to stop and think about shit for once. Not everything is as black and white as the news makes it, they’re as biased as you, now shut the fuck up and calm the hell down.

Thank you.
-Joe

Ever given thought to certain things like, why do I enjoy watching people cry? Sure, you might not be as disturbed as me, but I have a passion in watching people cry. Whether it be some kid getting knocked the fuck out after falling off his skateboard, a girl crying after her boyfriend dumped her because she’s a slut, or even a child at the mall crying its eyes out in the stroller. I love to hear people cry.

However, making people cry, it’s the complete opposite, and I don’t mean hitting them or anything physical to make them cry, I mean intense emotional harm type deal. That is quite possibly the most painful experience in the world, because in making someone cry this way, you have to know them one way or another, which really doesn’t help your situation. Watching this person you care about, this person you love so much, watching them bawl their eyes out while you just stand there. You have no idea what to say and all you want is for them to stop, but no, they continue to sit there crying, pouring out all their emotion and it wont stop. Whatever it is you’ve done, it hurts.

You start feeling horrible, standing there watching this person cry and cry. Your emotions are starting to rip through you, sorrow, regret and then, all of a sudden, this sharp pain starts ripping through your chest, your muscles everywhere stiffen up and all of a sudden, this person’s crying starts to physically hurt. You’re watching this person cry and it hurts emotionally and physically and it’s not even you that’s hurt and crying, imagine their pain.

What have you done? Does it even matter at this point? They’re sitting there crying and there’s nothing you can do. It’s like watching your mother bleed to death and you can only watch, it’s horrifying. However, instead of death consuming them, this person, here, crying, will continue to live with this pain. Nothing you can ever do will remove this thought, this feeling, this pain from their memory. When they think about you, they’ll think about this moment, as much as they wish they wouldn’t have to remember this memory when they think of you, they will.

I thought you liked to hear people cry Joe, what the hell? I do, I love it, but I hate it when I’m the one that does it, and you know why? Most of the times I’ve made someone cry is because I’d do as a please, I wouldn’t think, and I’d do whatever I wanted at the spur of the moment. This has hurt a lot of girls in many ways.

The point here is you need to think. Not play out all the possible scenarios in your head, but to seriously sit there and think. Is what I’m doing wrong? Is someone going to end up hurt? Emotions aren’t games, they’re real, and they’re superbly linked to our memory. When someone feels hate or pain, do you really want them to be thinking of you? You can prevent it by thinking first and acting second.

Take a moment out of your day and ask yourself, “Is what I am doing right?”

-Joe
From: Thoughts on ex-girlfriends and past troubles I’ve experienced

I hear it all the time, “I wish I could start over,” “I wish I could go back in time,” “If you could take one thing back, would you?” Well, here’s my answer: Amnesia. It’s perfect, none of the basic senses are effected, however, you don’t remember anything about anyone. You can start over, rebuild lost friendships, etc etc, right?

WRONG

Just like the movie “13 Going on 30,” just because you can’t remember anything YOU have done, doesn’t mean everyone else doesn’t. Everyone that’s ever been hurt still remembers you, and they will continue to hold that grudge. So what’s the point I’m getting at? Amnesia. Give it to everyone else.

Say you want to get back with an ex-girlfriend, but she hates you because you’re a gigantic fucking douchebag. If she can’t remember you’re a douchebag, how will she know? Well, of course, if you turn into a douche again she’ll notice. Outside of that, her friends will tell her, so you’d have to give them amnesia too. Her family would know too, some acquaintances that heard it from a friend, and those random people that overheard anything, all of them: Amnesia. On top of that, your own family, friends, acquaintances, and random over-hearers would need to be hit with amnesia too. The internet would need to be completely re-written, anyone who read anything about you on the internet: Amnesia.

Now seeing as about a quarter of the country has their memory wiped, most of which for seemingly no reason, no one goes to work because they can’t remember anything. Companies all over the place start to fail, the economy goes to crap, power grids go out and everyone hunts for food just to survive. The world slowly collapses and it slowly turns into Armageddon.

All this happened just to get a girl back. Destroyed half the world to get a girl back. Wow, what a selfish, needy, giant goddamn douchebag you are. Maybe if you weren’t a douche, she wouldn’t have left you.

Here’s the deal. There’s no way to go back, there’s only going forward. So stop being a douche and maybe people will start to like you.

-Joe
A writing on the topic of Girlfriends, more specifically ex-girlfriends, and the lessons they’ve taught me